today and the future

Bathroom Art at Today x Future | cropped version of this at instagram.com/bbhiraya

Found a new place to sample the merits of spirits while listening to good music, albeit with little to no conversation. This was the other weekend. I love the interiors. And I just realized now I've come to have a fetish for bathroom fixtures and whatnots in restos or bars or whereverelse. I bring my camera phone with me when I go pee. So here's a piece of (smart and unique!) bathroom art from the cleverly named Today x Future (read as Today Marks the Future), formerly located inside Cubao X but is now somewhere nearer to Tropical Hut/Mahattan Plaza.

That night, my best friend willingly got drunk again after how many years (I really was surprised that she's let go of her "no alcohol" stance). We had a beer each, then some of their tofu cigars and nachos. Yum! Then the mango + rum thing, which was more of a mild tasting mango shake with copious amounts of rum. She drank my last glass, so that when I was already sobering up, she was steadily going down into the depths of, well drunkenness hehe. Anyway, I loved the music then. Earlier, besides Foster the People songs, the DJ was playing 90s alternative stuff. Then the next guy had remixes. The 1979 remix was particularly trippy. That made my night. That may not completely be because it's one of my favorite songs of all time, and it is also not entirely unattributable to how much alcohol I've had. I really love the feeling of lightness, of just being in that moment of high. It's a Saturday night, and I have no date, no boyfriend, and I'm still young, yeah!

And wouldn't you know, I inadvertently had a bit of shock when I woke up sometime this week to find an SMS from a friend which I read as "... Koya just walked into the future." Talk about reality-bending. I'm still in the middle of reading Chapterhouse Dune. Walking into the future, that reads like a sci fi novel's first line that will take you, never let you go and suck you in completely. Only later that day did I finally read it correctly: "... Koya just walked in d2 future." Hihi. That line's MINE. My future sci fi story.

Write, write, write

No matter how many things I need to do (not only now but also in the near future) with the little time I have and will end up having, I always end up telling myself that 'I wanna do this, oh, this is interesting as well, I wanna do this too!' Yeah, a few more hours in the interwebs today and I came across two really interesting things, that I may just dip my toes in. Uh-huh.

First up, litreactor.com has its science fiction writing challenge known as Teleport Us. This follows the success of their previous challenge on horror writing last year. It's open to both amateurs and professionals, and anywhere from 1,500 to 4,000 words will get you in, as long as you adhere to three guidelines: explore a utopian/dystopian theme, feature a technology that's scientifically plausible and feature a non-human character. It's good to be starting now as submissions will end the 28th of February. There. That should provide me impetus to finally make good on all my resolutions to write years ago. Hmm... Esep esep...

Second, I didn't think there were many offshoots of the NaNoWriMo. I came across the NaBloPoMo and then later on ScriptFrenzy which occurs in April. Now, it seems there's LetterMo and it's for February. What's this about? You write anything - a letter, a postcard, send a picture, swatch of cloth, pages of magazines or newspapers, or write back to someone who wrote to you - every day of February and send them through the postal system.  I'm a sucker for the ways of the old, and there's nothing like seeing a surprise brought by the postman from a faraway or even nearby place in the world. I'm sure it'll be a worthwhile exercise in creativity. Now, if I can sustain this I still have to see. Although I have this twisted hope that I can. :)

So yeah, this is good, putting writing at the forefront of my activities to finally do/accomplish this 2013. My sister, who's currently taking up Medicine, and I have had this idea that's been sitting on the back burner for a while now of a graphic novel/illustrated book collaboration. We initially had an idea to make a children's book. And then all our fascination with Philippine myth (sparked by the Trese and Skyworld series) gave us the idea to make an alternative mythology graphic novel, similar to Paolo Chikiamco's Alternative Alamat issue over at Rocketkapre.com. We still have no idea which story to do up to this day, but hopefully all this writing (on my side) and creativity will spur us to make time and finally do it.

So, there's nothing more to say but Fight!

Ika nga ng Nazareth...

Drawn by Sofia Falkenhem
for her friend's collection of
love/horror stories,
check out her other
drawings at
http://sofiafalkenhem.blogspot.com

Love hurts.

Written in an hour (as soon as my shift started) late in 2011, if I remember correctly, whereafter the demands of work i.e., call volume, have rendered me unable to continue the relation of events which can be seen as fundamental to the understanding of the initial outburst of emotion, the following started out as a rant and soon became an attempt to use the misfortune into something that, with hope, may prove, no matter how far-fetched the idea may be, to be a suitable first foray (like all the other ideas I've thrown into the typewritten page) into the world of romance writing.

Some parts have been re-worded or rewritten for better reading, and while the inconsistency in voice in the fourth paragraph can be immediately corrected, I chose to let that part remain unchanged to somehow highlight the strength of emotion I had while writing those lines.

Let the heartbreak begin...

***

Heto na naman siya. Nakatunganga, nakatigin sa kawalan. Hindi namamalayan ang paglipas ng oras. Or to put it more correctly, nakikita niya ang pagpalit ng oras mula alas-tres, alas-kwatro, alas-singko hanggang alas-sais na ng gabi pero hindi niya ito iniinda. Oo, nasasayang ang oras, pero hindi niya makuhang ibaling ang atensyon sa mga mas importanteng bagay - sa paksang kailangang aralin para sa pagsusulit bukas, sa paghahanda para sa bakaysong matagal na niyang inaasam-asam. Pero kahit para sa huli ay ni hindi man lang niyang makuhang maging excited.

Kasabay ng pag-eemo moment niya ngayon ay naka-loop ang tila theme song ng kanyang pag-eemo. 'Nasubukan mo na bang matulog nang bigo sa pag-ibig,' tanong ni Alicia Keys. Kasama ang mabigat na bagsak ng mga beats at ang madramang melodiya - perpekto ito para sa nararamdaman niya ngayon, na nararamdaman niya dati pa pero napagdesiyunan na niyang wag na 'to isipan pa muli; na ang pagsisimula ng bagong buhay ay ang pagkalimot sa isang pangit na karanasan.

Pero sa emosyon, madalas talo ka. Natuklasan niya ito sa ilang ulit nang pag-betray sa kanya ng mga emosyon kahit ano pa man ang sabihin ng kanyag utak. Kapag nagsimula nang mamuo ang mga punla ng depresyon, tuluy-tuloy na yan. Hindi na niya mapipigilan ang pulso ng damdamin. At kadalasan ngayon, simula ng mga pangyayaring ngayo'y gumugulo na naman sa kanya, ang kanyang pagkalungkot ay umiikot sa kawalan ng iniibig. Kung bakit ba naman kasi kinailangan pa niyang pumasok sa buhay niya nang ganun diba? Wala siyang ganitong problema dati, kasi nga nbsb nga naman. Wala ring nanliligaw. Kaya ayos lang, masaya ang buhay. Kapag na-depress ay sarili lang ang kailangang sisihin. Tungkol lang naman dati sa purpose niya sa buhay ang ikinadi-depress niya. Ngayon, iba nang anggulo. May iba nang dimensyon ang kanyang pagkalungkot. Pumapalibot na rin sa isa pang tao. Nakakainis lang. Sa ilang buwan nang nakalipas, di pa rin niya maiwaksi ang mga nangyari at ang mga damdaming itinago lang niya. Pathetic, iniisip niya, to pine over one guy when there are so many others around. Ano bang meron sa kanya?

films, stories and languages

I just came from my Film 100 class, the introductory class taken by Film majors in UP. We were supposed to cover film form and basic writing about film. What was great about the class is that with the variety of viewpoints presented by my classmates who are from the College of Mass Communication, taking either Film, Broadcast Communication or Communication Research, they are steeped in communication theories and other social interactions that I, with a background in food technology, had no access to. It was entirely new, giving me a different perspective on how classes could be held

Towards the end of the discussion, our professor asked the film majors why they were taking up this course. Since the film majors in the class were freshies, they were still a bit unsure of why they're taking the course. The question ignited something in me that I shared my reason if ever I was taking up BA Film.

I mentioned that filmmaking is a different kind of storytelling. I am involved in film seeing it as an art form, as another means of self-expression. I am amazed at how a concept, given a certain kind of treatment, applied a certain kind of technique in terms of lighting, the kind of shots used and sequencing employed, scoring and using ambient sound, manipulating the colors, putting certain design elements, the emotions conveyed by the actors, the interplay of all these elements with the narrative - these all just make me go wow. I've been reading movie reviews and it always amazes me how such writers are able to have these kinds of readings into the films they're viewing and moreso, being able to write about them. Notwithstanding the need to express yourself, but since film is mainly made for others to see, you have a means of possibly making a mark even if only in a few people - making them think a certain way about a certain thing, providing them a fresh awareness of something others have tackled before letting them see it in a new light.

I was in a sort of high after I briefly spoke about it. It's like I was at that point where I knew now what I wanted to do. And then while walking, I gleaned that I have always been interested in stories. As a child, I read a lot of books from the school library, delving into the classics when there was nothing else available, reading the novels my mom kept in the top tier of our single shelf at home, delighting in watching movies, being intrigued by the design elements in film (I think the first one I saw which showed me film's wondrous possibilities was Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas - watching it with my siblings after Noche Buena when I was probably 8 or 9 years old). Then I started reading fanfiction on the internet and tried to come up with my own. I was mostly unsuccessful in putting them into writing but it hasn't stopped me from making up stories in my head. I've become a fan of Neil Gaiman's Sandman mainly because of the intricate world he makes up and the incredible developments in his characters - introducing a very varied bunch of characters wholly unconnected with each other in the beginning and then tying up all the loose ends so that you get a coherent ending by the end of the nine volumes, and still telling a GRAND story. Significantly, his novels also take place in modern day with elements of the fantastic and I believe it would take an ingenious mind such as him, or Tolkien (the latter of a level different to Gaiman's), to come up with stories like those. I also admire Haruki Murakami because of his different way of telling his stories. He introduces unconventional characters into his stories, possibly attributable to his Japanese/Asian origin, putting them into unconventional situations but still he makes you understand the conflicts, to sympathize with the characters even if the plot itself is a little bit out of this world. I may say that it is due to the psychic nature of Asian culture which is not so unheard of in these lands compared to the West, that I am accepting of the realities he shows in his stories. The stories could be taking place in real time or in the heads of the characters. And when you realize what's up, it just blows my mind away. Sandman was mindblowing as well. Neverwhere is my favorite among Gaiman's novels and it is incredibly amazing.

So going back to my previous train of thought. I have seriously thought about writing that I've even set aside a writing month after I resigned from my first job. Then I tried to keep up with Nanowrimo for 2 years before I decided it's not for me. But failing those, I still do feel that I have to tell stories. Film has been a companion for many years now, even compelling me to join a film-oriented organization in college, joining mainly because I wanted to know how to create my own film. I guess it's the concept that I have to come up with now since the technology is there to make own film if you're really motivated to, and of course friends who I can ask help from. So letting that out in class today, I feel like I've stumbled upon what I want to do.

And then I remember that yesterday in my German class, our teacher Ms. Petersen shared that her background is linguistics and that grammar is her favorite part, as is mine with studying English or any other languages (except Filipino/Tagalog). Also aside from German, she knows Spanish, Bahasa Indonesia, there was probably one or two more European languages in there and Latin. And that's because she has been studying languages for 15 years already. I was talking with my usual seatmate Alex afterwards and I was like I also want to learn the things she has learned that I was thinking linguistics might be a better field of study (for a second degree) compared to European languages (which has been one of my thrusts for some years now).

So now, my enthusiasm for filmmaking has been dampened by this realization that I equally want to do the languages thing for the rest of my forseeable life. It is a question that will have to be answered years down the road. For now, I am thankful that I have taken all these subjects I am taking now - Film 100, German 12-13 and Hapon 10-11. Even I have no definite plan yet about my career or my academic studies, I am continuously opening myself up to possibilities. Years down the road, I will be able to look back and connect the dots leading me to that point in my life. Hopefully.