a love letter

I was looking for an anecdote on Philippine personalities I could share in my class yesterday and finally came upon Alexis Tioseco. The pull of the person that he was was so strong that even though I wasn't prepared enough to share it in my own German translation (yes, it's for a German Lit class), I pushed through with it. Also because the only alternative I have is about the Ver-Ramos rivalry and how Imelda Marcos had the last say. Suffice to say, I didn't do his story justice - next time, surely. But I digress.

I've decided to go with Quark Henares' accounts since he apparently knew Alexis while the latter was still an unknown, working in PDI's 2bU! section. And because I remember reading this interview of Quark where he said that he's living every day so as to fulfill Alexis' wish in his "Wishful Thinking for Philippine Cinema."

Well, backtracking a bit, I came upon this letter of Alexis to Nika here while looking for other sources. And I recognized once again the import of what society has done to a man like Alexis Tioseco. His and Nika's murders are truly a big shame. Someone with this much love, not just for his partner but for society through film - his convictions, his efforts, his vision - we should not deny him his life and us, of his.

I am reposting the letter here because it is truly beautiful. If I only I could write like this...

My dear Nika,

If there has been a single cause of strain that has stuck out in our relationship it is this: the idea of my attachment to the Philippines, the strong desire you see that I have to live and work here, and the way that, perhaps, you see this as a matter of misappropriate priorities. Does a place mean more than a person? Does my work in the Philippines mean more than the possibility of a life with you, somewhere, anywhere else? Must it be you that moves, makes the (I know you hate the word, but let us use it) sacrifice of moving? And what, if anything, does that say about us—that the scales of our love weigh more heavily on your chalice?

I know you’ve come to terms with the idea of moving here, hopefully next year, we discuss—but I still feel the need to talk a bit more about some of my reasons for wanting to stay, at the very least for the meantime. I’m not attempting to compare my affection for Manila with yours for Slovenia, but only to explain the thoughts that go through my head, the things I feel I must do, things that, perhaps, we can do together.

Yours,

Alexis 


Insightful, articulate, a soulful rhythm - I can feel the challenges that have been imposed upon the couple, the consideration, the kindness and love. If I were to receive a letter like this - oh! I live for stuff like this. Living and loving. If only.

"The first impulse is always one of love." - Alexis, in another love letter to Nika and Philippine cinema